I am Not My Mother….

Someone from my church took the time out of her busy schedule to sit and talk with me. She sat and listened to me without judgment, etc. I got more out of our talk, than I ever have being in therapy. That talk, caused me to really dig deep within myself, my family and my faith.

My mother was someone that would give you the shirt off her back. She was the most loving, caring person I have ever known. Of course I’m a bit biased because she was my mother but it’s also who she genuinely was.

But she was also someone that didnt have boundaries in place. I know she wanted to become a nurse but “couldnt”. Whatever my father said, is how it was. The only time I ever saw her stand up to him was when she would drink; which only caused my father to beat her more. All in all, my mother didnt have a life of her own outside of my father.

Through my talk with my “sister” from church, I’ve come to understand how I’ve inherited so many of the negative traits from my mother, which I’m sure was passed down.

Continue reading “I am Not My Mother….”

Domestic Violence; Her Story

CLICK LINK TO ENLARGE THE POWER AND CONTROL WHEEL: Power and Control

I have permission to share this story as told to me by a friend of mine.

I was 16 years old when I met him. He was a couple of years older than me and had spent his life in foster care. He was too old to continue to live in foster care and was out on his own. I so wanted to be a friend to him because he seemed so broken. Our relationship was a lot of fun and soon we began dating.

Many months into our relationship, things went sour and I wasn’t so sure I wanted to continue with the relationship. We had so many differences and we just didn’t see eye-to-eye. Going through many breakups, I didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary. I hadn’t broken up with him when it started happening. He could sense that I was trying to back off and end the relationship and he didn’t want that.

I cant tell you how many times it was, but it was a lot, that he kept me against my will until we have “worked things out.” Of course that would always end in a lie so that I could leave the room, or the car, or wherever we were at the time. I was locked inside my sister’s apartment, his friends room, and my own vehicle. He wouldn’t let me leave until I convinced him I was going to breakup with him. And of course, it escalated from that.

On more than one occasion, he grabbed the wheel of my car and pulled us off the highway. He attempted to jump from my moving car. He threatened. suicide, all so that I wouldn’t leave him.

Continue reading “Domestic Violence; Her Story”